ALOHA –

After spending loads of quality time scouring the internet for credible sources regarding the subject of the Illuminati (you won’t find any that don’t have an extremist view – so proceed with caution), and after purchasing Katy Perry’s most recent song “Dark Horse” on iTunes, I have come to the conclusion that Katy Perry is most definitely not a part of the Illuminati. I know, I know. There is an Eye of Horus in almost every frame of the video… she zaps a dude wearing an Allah necklace into dust… but that is a music video; a fictional representation of a piece of music. Besides, I bought the song and sang it while burning candles in a pentagram and yet I still haven’t received my induction invitation to the secret society. I mean… that is how it works, right?

While I haven’t personally checked in with Miss Perry and asked her one-on-one, I am fairly certain she is not the Antichrist. I am also fairly certain that Katy Perry is awesome. Check out some of the causes she’s contributed to over the years: Habitat for Humanity, the USO, Red Cross, and AIDS LIFE. 

And while you’re at it, check out her album Prism. It’s like $11 bucks on iTunes.